17

feelings don't come when u want them to
they stay when u don't want them to
fall in love ? or not? its not my choice
but i'm willing to try, at least for a month
trying for what i know the outcome may be like
trying for what i know might still be the same
cause i know you've tried your best for me
i don't want pressures being with you
i don't want responsibilities being with you
and stress.

after all,
for now,
i want to work hard towards my target, be true to myself
and be happy...

16

i'm truely sorry
sorry for what i've done
sorry for lying to you
sorry for my honesty now
sorry for being with you
sorry for breaking your heart
sorry for saying i love you

but thanks
thanks for wasting your time with me
thanks for trying your best
thanks for all you done for me
thanks for understanding
thanks for teaching me a lesson

through this 3months 29days i learnt to be true at last
i'm happy to be with you all this time together and did not regret it
i just regret leaving a scar behide and lying to you and myself
that was my mistake, everything is.. it's just me..
you can find whats best for you.. not me
there's way better guys out there.. not me
i give you my blessings
and be safe.....

WALK AWAY

promise broken..
i have forgotten all about it anyway.. everything significant on that day. not in my mind anymore.. Actually, the truth is that i'm lazy to flash back. it burns my brain cells.. i don't wanna fall into a mental disabled hospital during chinese new year.. sucks

OI JAC where my eclipse HUH? i faz reader leh!! dont everyday at home store meat ok.

hmmm.. going to dye my hair soon..
personal chio bu hair styler going to dye for me wahahah..
extremely excited*

haiz.. my life is miserable.. stressful..

updated

UPDATED*

soz, let me continue... i didn't even brush my teeth when she arrived at my house. so it was a rush. after a few sentences exchange, she offered me chewing gums.. i think she noticed my morning breath.. without hesitation, i squeeze the gums out with little effort and happily threw it into my mouth.. it should bear the unpleasant scent.. i went rushing to take a quick shower and grooming. i left her there to have a chat with my sister on msn. after the finishing touches on my styled hair, i went back to her. i checked on what they have talked about on curiousity... it was the most retarded subject of the day. hmmm... something like, woah, the sky is so blue... yahhh... the the earth is round... etc..- which left me laughing out loud for almost a minute... and off we go to our destination..... bugis. it was a bright sunny afternoon at yishun.. i hated the weather. i hated the feeling of absorbing vitamin D,the firece warm feeling on my skin, the brightness that was too binding when you have to half close your eyes.. and the worst of everything, perspiring. i would put in more effort then usual to avoid the bad weather. i have not mention before that im seriously not a "sunshine guy" . but jac had the opposing mind. she liked the sunny weather. to her preference, we walked to the MRT station instead of taking a air-condition bus. sign...

we took the path that i always took to the MRT station from my house.-if im walking- what i usually have done during the long walk would be smoking. nothing unusual today...
"why are we talking the long path?" she complained. "no, we're on the correct way." i assured her. she definitely need to trust me on this. i know its the shortest path... i've been living here since............... its more than 10 years anyway... that thought reminded me about my childhood here. thousands of pictures flashed through my mind for a brief moment.
halfway through the journey to the trains, i notice her spectacles had changed from transparent to a dark brown colour similar to typical sunglasses. not magic but she was wearing transitions..

to be continued.
im trying to put in significant details on that day. it would turn out like a novel i guess.. but my eyes and body need to rest now.. will update soon.. i promise

time past in different paces.. they change gears.. gear shifting starts from 1 and starts going higher to 6. not a chance they will stay... the turbo is always hit, but the reverse... never. many things happened during this week.. time past like a blink of an eye as if the next minute i would hit 60 years old and die from lung cancer.. but i doubt that.. i meant the next minute thing.. i never hope to die from lung cancer.. not every other cancer either.. maybe the reason is im a smoker.. there's a high chance i would die from cancer....... i dont know...... lets not think so much for now i guess... its all fated anyway...
YES! i know people will start telling me "QUIT LAH! so easy to ruduce the risk of cancer and all etc" its not easy.. the urge.. the temptation... its like vampires thirst for blood.. i have tried many times.. i really meant "Many", to save myself from that drug-liked tabacco. and i have failed everytime i tried... its a sad truth but nevertheless, im still trying.. and will keep working on it... its one of my resolution for 2009 btw..
OH SHIT !! jac called me already... shes outside my house now.. we're supposely have a date and im not dragging it... soz, ill continue when i reach home! later

i cant miss your touch

WHEN IS SHE GOING TO BUY ME THIS?!!! i am very hungry. =/ jasmine told me it would showcase in summer.. maybe i dont have to wait for the book. i just go and watch can already. but its summer whole year of singapore.. when?? when ??? when????? FUCK I DAM IMPATIENT ONE LE *takes a deep breath* I STILL IMPATIENT LA *breathes in~ breathes out~ x 10 * phew, much better.. patient is the key to tenecity :) good ? twilight readers/watchers lets pray hard together now. follow me now.. just do it lah~ put your hands together ... fingers touch knuckles... shut your eyes tight. WAIT! finish the instructions first. after you close your eyes, recite in your heart that the movie will be released real soon! if you wanna say out also CAN. even better if you shout.. better do it now if not you will be cursed for eternity............. nobody will love you , your life will be shorten by 10 years , and will be unlucky for EVER! if you do it your in 5 min your true love will call you and confess to you. you will be blessed for 10 years with prosperity~ good luck..... ^^

Below is a video of REAL fire at paya lebar Singpost. its on the news too..
wow wow wow???!! this is copyrighted. like fireworks like that huh? quite nice also haha... fire control after arrival of fire fighters. nobody die... haiz.. NO i mean YAY!!




NICE RIGHT!
ok i'll end here today..
take care dont take drugs.. BYEBYE
*WAVES* at you. YES you. dont look anywhere now ITS YOU!! YES nobody else.
rude sia you never wave back..
I HEARD YOU.. SCOLD ME LAMER RIGHT?! next time you will fucking get it from me i tell you
scared right... wahahahahah~ -laughter ends with echo-

yeah

I CAN FUCKING GO POLY!!!
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i know.

hi readers.. whats up.? yeah man O's result release on 12 jan! good news or bad news? its both actually... good that we dont have to wait anymore.. good that we could finally see how'd good we did. or the other way.. hmm? but anyway, i hope the best for all my friends taking results.. good luck people.. i think i better dont write about today.. its as boring as .... ARGH i cant describe it with words nor actions.. so i wont bored you guys with my boring day.. dont worry im a understanding soul.. soz..., later!

you dont know me,

hello strangers.. it was long long long long long longggggggggggggggggggg time ago since i last blogged.. i saw a spider web on my blog eh? hah.. was really busy and have no time.. hahaha.. BUT! why i today so free? nahhhh..... guess what. what? nothing important actually... O levels result is gonna be release soon.. OMG? wtf??!!! NO?! ?? WHY SO SOON??!?!?! fuck i am not READY? ..................... this is it. but i will be prepared for the worst.... sooner or later ill die... this is my last post ... sorry strangers .. but you will be cursed after reading this... i will huant you for life... if you do not sent this to 15 people in 10 minutes you will have bad luck for life.. but if you send this to 15 people in 10mins you will find your true love.. if you send it to 30 people, you will be bless and your true love will love you for eternity. this is not a fake!! sounds familiar ? if you laugh now you are a idiot.. if you didn't , sad case but you're emo for life. live with it and move on.
ANYway... forget to wish you guys HAPPY NEW YEAR! nvm forget it, its 4th of jan today. hahaha nvm lahh.. i bad memory and abit busy ma.. haiyo.. abit dont angry lah.. hahaha
lately im been thinking about my resolution for 2009. yesterday someone asked me, whats my resolution for the new year. and i had to answer, its... nothing. so not cool right.. but, im sure to come up with one sooner or later. we'll see.. everyone should have one.. im not saying everyone MUST have a resolution or wishes and hopes. but you know, its good to have one. maybe it could be your target for year 2009. maybe something you wanna achieve? or you have to complete? if you dont have one i sincerely encourage you to maybe spend a little time and think about it? its good for you... now, tell me. do i sound like an asshole? LOL im sorry but i feel that im like ... corrupting you all with my insane words... okok i'll stop now.. bye idiots and emos.