Im starting to miss those awful times during army days.
In the early morning run
With my fieldpack on my back
With an aching in my heart
And my body full of sweat
Im a long long way from home
And I miss my lover so
In the early morning march
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
I know I know
You have to go
But hurry back home
Cause I miss you so
https://youtu.be/Bmxp3qnLF_8
I lied. I lied for you. It's my promise and I will keep it. Though it hurts me like hell. At least this is the most I can do. Dont know how to live with my lies. Am I delusional? Somehow I have this bipolar syndrome inside. Sometimes I feel like im someone else. The more knifes you throw at me, the more I will hurl myself at it. Dont ever want to discuss any future again because I dont hope anymore. Oh sure I can.
I don't know anymore. Wont hope for anything else as well. This is my long term problem. Too hopeful = hopeless as a person. Too much expectations may lead to too much disappointments that the heart cannot handle. If you want to meet then we'll meet. If you dont want to, then we'll not meet. Simplicity at it's best. Just someone to enjoy life together. No expectations from eachother and we won't suffer anymore injuries. Only enjoyments, no sufferings. Ain't that great? Dont you agree with me?
Is silence really the best choice now? It seems as though my expectations are rising as we walk further. Is it normal for that to be happening? A part of me don't want that to happen, I don't want you to change anything for me. I like the rose red. Another part just wants to customize your life, your behavior, take control of everything. Ah, a game of the sims. Hah. Im sorry, the truth is, I just want you to believe in me, have faith that I will stay, I will stay to be the one. I will be more than enough for you, believe in love, get drunk in it, lay everything down on me and stop looking elsewhere. Just look at us. Please, can you achieve that? Please show me you can, we can.
Breathe.. Just breathe.. Show the world how strong you are.. No more tears,no more tears. You've been trained. You should be stronger
