Just a fool

The one whos heart feels too much, thinks too deep, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves the actions and hates mere words, hurts people and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It's a risky gamble and just a fool you are, a fool you are.

不可能

我记得当年有人说
当爱情来时要小心
我有

你很坚强但我不会
我的幻觉我的错误
我不小心我忘了
我又

现在错的都做了
已经没话说了
你轻易的走了
赢了

你可以去跟他们说
说我现在终于知道了
屋顶上大声的说
写在天线上

我们拥有的都没了
说我开心过
说我的心碎了
说我的伤口开了
说我所希望的

不可能

Words can slaughter

You live your life thinking everyone loves you but it's not true. You're really naive. You're beginning to hate all their sweet words. They're just words, and they are words. Many come and go in our lives, don't you agree with the future me now?

Choices

People say I make strange choices, they're not strange for me though. It's about perspective. I think most of us make choices based on someone's else idea of happiness. People are raised with preconceived notions of choices we're suppose to make. However, the choices we make, determines a large portion of happiness and unhappiness in our life. Because we have to live with the consequences of our choice. Go be a cobbler, you can be happy. Go to a mountain and live with sheeps, you can be happy too.

Let the ship sink

I guess this is goodbye, my friend. I was so proud to call you my friend. Sorry for the difficult times I put you through. Sorry for being disrespectful at times. Sorry for leaving you alone. Sorry for letting go, giving up. Sorry that it has to be this way. What I need ain't nothing else, just your appreciation. But you said f off instead. If I hadn't a place with you, I'll walk away. Thanks for all the good times anyway.

This bus journey home, seems too long. My vision's blur, my throat's tight, but im laughing at our joke.

Start afresh

Faith. Some of us do. I have little faith. But I will try again, a little harder. Maybe, I'll be happier. One can hope. But if not, what else can I do? You tell me. Stranded for eight years, living like the dead, gave up. Everyday I wake up, I look forward to nothing. Because you dont care, and I followed. Thanks to you, with years of training, I learned to let go. Let go of things closest to my heart. Piece of cake. I'll use that to my advantage if necessary and I'll rejuvenate. Babysteps.

We're bad for eachother

As the title suggest.

Because i have you, I dont try hard enough. I don't stress about money and how important is it for survival. I didn't think about the future. How bleak it is, as I haven't tried building anything for myself. I'm not worried about my life. I can't live independently, leave me alone and nothing good happens. I don't know how to take care of somebody else because you'll take care of me if anything happens. I couldn't care, about health, financial, family and other things that resolve around me. Wait.. And if you're gone..? The question is.. Can you bear to leave me?

Burn in hell

Hi, im angry guy today. It has always been an issue for me being angry with myself, with no particular reason. I can get pissed off alone in my room, whenever a negative thought passes through my mind. Sometimes I wonder why, im a grown adult, 24 years old this year, still have to deal with issues from my teenage years. Didn't I get pass that? Am I still as immature as I was back then? Why is it so hard to let go? I get angry with a friend joking around and rude people. Simple things. All these thoughts ignite me. I know im at a bad place, quite bad. That angry monster needs to be tamed..

Hope to hope again

You took off the offensive stance because you know that black shadow beyond is waving at you. You take a step closer, and another step. Till youre close enough to see and it's too late for you. You feel the sharp pain in your heart. You look down and saw blood dripping from the blade that had just pierced through. You kneeled, look at your killer, hes still smiling. He still looks innocent. He withdrew his sword, blood gushing out from your chest. You feel weaker by the second, you want to fight back, you tried to yell its not over but nothing sounded. Felt your eyelids overweight yourself. Laid back, in the pool of red. Just close your eyes warrior, wait to see light again.

It's been two years man.. like a blink of an eye, the flash of light. But at the same time i want to say it's been a long time. Too long, in fact. I think I've changed. Actually i'm quite sure that some things are different now. Change in perspective? Not really that sure myself. Sometimes i wonder if i'm the one who changed, or is it my environment that had me configured. Like water, goes with the flow huh. It's funny how day by day nothing changes, only when you look back you see difference. I have many stuffs to write I don't even know how to begin with. My life now, family, love life blablabla. fuck