I wish it was that simple

走着
看着
听着
你唱着
小幸福
我又怎能舍得放弃你呢？

Just harsh

Look at the way you respect me now.. Sarcasm.. Brainless.. Annoying..

Of lies and pretenses

Recently, ive learnt two new things. I logicalized that getting to know and meeting up with new people actually makes you experience things that you are not able to with the same group of people. When youre with someone for a long time, you tend to be accustom to them. What they love dearly, detest, you know it. Sometimes people do things for you, vice versa. What im trying to express here, is maybe periodically you may develop a new character which is not so you, to satisfy another individual. I emphasize on the being yourself character, I still do. I get upset about the lies and pretenses of people. How dare they? I may be reckless but do they think im foolish and naive as well? I am a liar, like most people I know. Though, im so sick to the back teeth in this circle of deception.

Because of confidence
Because you're trying to protect yourself

Hei foon nei

You dont have to say it, at least show it.

When the cold wind blows

Im starting to miss those awful times during army days.

In the early morning run
With my fieldpack on my back
With an aching in my heart
And my body full of sweat

Im a long long way from home
And I miss my lover so
In the early morning march
When the cold wind blows

When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows

I know I know
You have to go
But hurry back home
Cause I miss you so

https://youtu.be/Bmxp3qnLF_8

Liars pants on fire

I lied. I lied for you. It's my promise and I will keep it. Though it hurts me like hell. At least this is the most I can do. Dont know how to live with my lies. Am I delusional? Somehow I have this bipolar syndrome inside. Sometimes I feel like im someone else. The more knifes you throw at me, the more I will hurl myself at it. Dont ever want to discuss any future again because I dont hope anymore. Oh sure I can.

你有希望吗?

I don't know anymore. Wont hope for anything else as well. This is my long term problem. Too hopeful = hopeless as a person. Too much expectations may lead to too much disappointments that the heart cannot handle. If you want to meet then we'll meet. If you dont want to, then we'll not meet. Simplicity at it's best. Just someone to enjoy life together. No expectations from eachother and we won't suffer anymore injuries. Only enjoyments, no sufferings. Ain't that great? Dont you agree with me?

Fucking apps

Is silence really the best choice now? It seems as though my expectations are rising as we walk further. Is it normal for that to be happening? A part of me don't want that to happen, I don't want you to change anything for me. I like the rose red. Another part just wants to customize your life, your behavior, take control of everything. Ah, a game of the sims. Hah. Im sorry, the truth is, I just want you to believe in me, have faith that I will stay, I will stay to be the one. I will be more than enough for you, believe in love, get drunk in it, lay everything down on me and stop looking elsewhere. Just look at us. Please, can you achieve that? Please show me you can, we can.

Trained

Breathe.. Just breathe.. Show the world how strong you are.. No more tears,no more tears. You've been trained. You should be stronger

Death

She left us. That was the last message my sister left me. It came all so suddenly. Last week I was in the hospital, she was talking and smiling. Looking healthy. This afternoon, her dad was still talking to her. But she left too fast, in just a moment of time. I was in the icu and I saw her still breathing. It wasn't her breathing. It was a machine connected to her lungs making her breathe. Her mother was there, calling out to her. Wake up baby, wake up! Even though she knew there was no miracle. We all knew. But she didnt give up. Her eyes were sore. Her dad just sits in one corner letting out gasps of sigh. I stood by knowing there was nothing left to do. But, just pray. Rest in peace in the land of clouds. You will continue living in the hearts of family and friends. Is there really, no miracle?